The problem with thinking

Well thinking can lead you to the brink of thinking, there where you stand on the edge of the river. You have to be on the other side of the river. You can’t go there by thinking. You have to jump, to swim,to wait. Till you see that you are already on the other side. Just living, you are…..But not by thinking. Although Nisargadatta said that we somehow have to think ourselves out of our bondage.....

Thinking is nothing else than to try to reach reality with words. Words are just sounds with a common meaning (in your culture) about objects or things that happen. We use them when things have happened.

Disaster strikes in a village. We  read that afterwards in a paper or we hear it on television. The words are never the facts themselves. Words and concepts are hypothesis themselves. I give you a blow and it hurts. You tell it your friend. But she has never been beaten, so for her it is a message in the paper. You can give her a blow, so that she realizes what you have suffered, but the second blow is not your own experience (so..don't give her the blow, please...).  

What is truth? Does the seeker know what he is looking for? The truth, happiness, God? Is there a definition?

Thinking is not the way. Thinking stays within its own dimension. You can even look at it! If you are not thinking yourself, you can look at your own thinking!!!!!! That is a miracle! You are not your thinking, for you can watch it. You can hear all words, all thoughts. Your Thoughts? But who is then looking?

You can see your vices, your feelings, your ‘good deeds’.

I’m looking at myself. But who is the one who looks and who is the one that you observe? Are there two of me, or are they the same? No they are not the same. What you can see is not yourself.  What you can see is not unlike the world that you see. For it is all part of duality. The world changes every moment. In fact it streams, there is never a stand-still. Your body grows older, your thoughts and opinions change by the day. Things come up, and they disappear again. As thoughts do.

But the observer? That-what-sees? Can you see it? Is it a thing? Can you smell it? Can you hear that what sees? You never can have a standpoint from where you can see the see-er.  For that what sees can never see itself. But it’s always there. You are always there. As the seeing, as the experiencing...

This is the key of practical mysticism. This is the real wonder of it all. We are here, but we can’t find who we are, for we are already who we are. Only our dual thinking wants to know its source. But the tiny part can never know its source, for it is in an other dimension, outside time and space. It’s just here and now, but it can never be an object of investigation. Let alone by thinking….We have to leave all the noise we make. We have to do absolutely no-thing. We even can not have any goal (that lays in the future, so in time and space). If there is absolute silence and when we are not doing anything to reach anything, it may happen. We experience our Self. 

And if the thinking is still there --- and with most teachers, it is still there--- you can watch the thinking. You can be critical about your enlightment: watch yourself, watch your thinking, watch your feelings. When you are boasting about your enlightment, you're still not ready. When you are proud about the state of your being, be aware.... When you want to have pupils or devotees, be aware.... You are not ready yet.

When you think you are ready, and you still see the remnants of a much demanding person, don't be disappointed. Go on with you're awareness. Sit still, and be aware. See what is happening! Don't judge what you see. Just See. 

 

 Words words words

We tend to play with words to reach ‘That which is beyond words’. It’s a useless try. You can call it anything, but the mere fact is, that what we really are is No-thing, and you are already that! You know that you are because you know that you are....

You are no thing.

Nothing, not-a-thing. Watch your thoughts and then realize who is watching these thoughts. Who am I. You can't find the ´I´.  It is no object and an invisible subject. I’m me, but you can’t find the me, because it does not exist as a thing. 

How can you find some-thing that is no-thing. There are no ways, there are no means. You are That, and you know that you exist. You can’t see what you are, you can't hear it, feel it, smell it, taste it.  

You van only  be it…..There is absolutely nothing that can bring you there, for you are already there. Ummmmm...here in fact.

The person, the ego, the thinking can’t cope with this impossibility and stays seeking for more tricks. But these tricks lead only to experiences, where there is a person who experiences the experience, comments on it, and tells his friends about these miracles. Understand that the person can’t do anything. The person is all words. There is only experiencing. Do nothing, sit still, execute no plans, just be. Don’t wait for anything to happen. No movement at all. Be aware. Don’t comment on anything. Let it go.

The problem with high expectations

I think that most seekers are misguided by the descriptions of the ultimate state that some experience. It must be wonderful and all shattering. But -so they say- the road is long, and has for each individual its own qualities and its own time-schedule. Therefore I warn against descriptions. Experiencing is what is happening this moment. Well and if 'they' come, be careful. You never know where they stand for.

For instance, I had my wonderful moments. I've been in states of Bliss during satsangs with Marianne van de Wetering (Djihi). I have felt the eternal love sitting before her. I've seen the visible world disappear when she invited me to take over her satsang. I thought I had done it, that I was ready, but after those experiences followed many difficult years. But the difficulties were not distractions, so as I first thought. They were what they were. Jan van Delden -a Dutch Advaita teacher- told us, that after his first breakthrough, it took him 10 years to cope with all the little 'Jantjes (=Johnnies)'. In Philip Kapleau's Three Pillars of Zen various cases are presented which tell us that just after the first Kensho's the real work began. There are warnings for the 'Stench of Enlightment', where one is proud (and more) as result of the overwhelming experiences.

The danger of thinking you are have a a spiritual life is that the Ego takes over. Why couldn't I be a Master too? Why couldn’t I build a temple? Where are my pupils? Don't they see I'm here? I've seen more, so I am more than the others. Better, for I Have Seen It. The Japanese Zen master Dôgen saw the danger too. He said that there were enlightened monks, and monks that were not. For him that didn't matter. And how could it be? In the end we are the same. We have no separate existence. Without the Self we would not have any existence. We wouldn’t even know that we were here.... So everyone is It, though the experiences differ.